Friday, 10 February 2012

Kali says: cross this line and I'll fucking cut your head off

The Divine Miss N has been one of my yoga teachers and an integral part of my yogic journey for a very long time. She and I share, surprisingly, a lot in common, yet we are very different in all the bells and whistles. We are both introverts. We both have to deal with similar demons. We have studied with some of the same teachers, which enables us to help each other out when we try to explore the "more harder, more dangerous" asanas. In fact, she's dropped me on my head a few times in my early days of exploring dropback, but I keep going back for more. She's also one of the very few yogis that I've allowed into my home to practice. My filthy condo is my fucking sacred temple, ok?

And yes, she is much nicer than me. Bite me.

When shit hit the fan last week, The Divine Miss N and I had a long chat, which in part inspired me to start this blog that nobody reads.

Here's the deal, most introverts are thinkers... most, not all, some are just inadvertent idiots... and being an introvert doesn't mean being shy, we just stay in the back, lurk in the dark, keep our mouths shut, observe and conjure up shit in our heads.

So when two introverts, who have similar experiences in life and stuff, have a long conversation, you know it's bound to be some juicy shit.

This is also where it gets interesting. You see, The Divine Miss N is A) my teacher, B) as crude as it sounds, a service provider, C) my fellow yoga buddy, D) my friend.

Blurry boundaries? You betcha. I'll talk more about that in a different blog.

And to reflect on that certain current event, there are striking similarities, though thank Jeebus, none of that "sensual energy moving" ritual here.

No. No. No. Never have, never will. The yuck factor is just too high.

There are lines you simply do not cross. This is one of them... and women with tattoos and piercings are just not my thing. I'm too conservative and traditional that way. I like them pure, stupid and with enormous breasts (if she can see her feet while looking down, they are too small), but I digress...

Fast forward...

The Divine Miss N talked about Kali and Lakshmi in her Thursday class, which was very refreshing and fitting.
There have been a lot of discussions about alignments, telling the truth, going back to the yoga mat, yadayadayada. These are all valid discussions, in fact very much needed. But I also see a lot of unaddressed anger and frankly demands of a public hanging.

Believe me, I am pissed like many of you. And if you've ever been publicly humiliated by "the man" in front of many in your local community, you'll know how I feel.

The raw primal anger is very much the manifestation of Kali, that raw power of destruction, that adrenaline rush to grab the pitchfork... I totally get that and I am still struggling with it. Repressed anger has always been one of my constant battles. But these last X years (not gonna hint at my age here, you dunt!) of yoga have also taught me to pause and take a breath.

Because of "the man", we are all engaged in amazing conversations.

It is very tempting to barge in, chop off heads and burn everything in sight. You see, raw destruction ass-whooping energy will do just that, destroy and whoop ass. There is definitely a place for that... I have wanted to summon Kali at work many times. But when the bitch slapping and ass kicking is done, then what?

That is when Lakshmi comes in: refinement.

Shocking, you need both. Sorry Saraswati, I'll talk about you some other time. You are too normal and boring for this blog, and I'm too lazy to stick you in that picture.

To put it in perspective, imagine you are a doctor who needs to remove a benign growth on your patient's neck. You need that raw destructive power to remove it, at the same time, you need to incorporate refinement so that you don't cut off your patient's head.

While I'm writing this, I realize this blog is not as funny as I thought it would be. I partially blame it on the Tequila Caesar that I'm drinking. To the (non-existent) readers from the US, it's a primal drink of Tequila and Clamato juice in Canada. That's the *reconstituted* tomato juice with clam flavoured broth which you don't get in the US. Ha!

Tequila is the raw primal power. (totally!)

Clamato juice is the refinement... hmm... ok, this blog is funny after all.


  1. 1. It was humerous (parts of it..) they (most of your posts) always are!
    2. Aren't you still in your 20's oh he who never ages?
    3. If I look back to my 'burning man day's (yes, let's just call ot that) I most certainly would NOT want my private life scrutinized by strangers (let's just say I'm not running for president any time soon).
    4. The 'drama' is quite interesting to observe.. Some do some don't, some are slinging mud and happy to see 'something great' fall to it's knees. Others have their head buried in the sand (if I don't see it, surely it doesn't exist!) to give it a very light analogy, it's like watching people's reactions to a cellphone going off in savasana; some are thinking "so freaking glad it's not MY cellphone!", others are jolted out of their perfect moment "what an a**hole!", others ignore it completely...others still du reds the urge to check theirs... So many reactions to observe!
    5. This is the beginning of the end, and the beginning all over again. It's time to step it up as Kula; to realize it takes a community to raise a child, and we have a great opportunity (within the mess) to step forward and BE the Kula, to be the example that there is so much good going on here...and despite all of that, some of us have made mistakes...let's watch how they grow from them, let's give peole a chance to earn back our trust (or not) and let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.
    The best thing that this yoga practice did for me, was introduce me to you and Lady N, and all the others I joined in Calgary...may I get to see you and hug you and practice besde you in the future! I changed with the kula, I softened, I learned that this is bigger than just one person, bigger than just myself.
    It IS a time for destruction and renewal...spanda spanda....I'm actually quite psyched and excited to see what changes are made...
    #. (I lost track of what number I'm on..who cares) since you say 'no one' reads your blog (though I'm sure that's a wee lie) I'll share with you this. When I was 16, something so tragic and violent happened in my family, to my family it was splash across the front pages of every newspaper in the country. True story. 'We' hid. It was not only very traumatic what we were going thru, but also quite embarrassing. The media got a hold o f the story and rn with it for three days, then left us in. The dust to show our faces, pick up the pieces, heal. I feel for anyone who's gone thru that kind of public humiliation..not just for 'the man' but every One left in the wake.
    Lives were NOT lost here...just some very bruised ego, a tarnished image, and may I speculate a few family units have bern turned upside down.
    This weekend, when I'm at the intensive in MIA, I'll watch, listen and practice with both discernment, and's embarrassing. It's sad. It was unnecessary.
    Without turning a blind eye, may I see you on the other side of this mess, as a man who has learned and grown from his mistakes..may this be a lesson to us all in so many ways.

    Thanks for writing SY, you get the juices flowing.

    1. wow! thank you so much!

      and i'll give you my FB status in return:

      for the first time, i can see the lotus peeking through the dark muck on the bottom, reaching for the light above

      PS: it's The Divine Miss N... Lady N will be someone else :) xxxooo

    2. another PS: it's ok to say asshole