Sunday, 12 February 2012
Saraswati called: Dharma of Relationship... or else!
My phone rang after I dropped off The Divine Miss N at her house yesterday.
"Hi, I'd like to speak to Sarcastic Yogi."
"You're speaking to him."
"This is Saraswati. You are an asshole."
"That's nice, dear. I thought you were a goddess. Do you kiss your worshipers with that dirty mouth?"
"Listen, asshole! I don't kiss my worshipers, ok? I know better not to have physical contact with my minions, ok? And how dare you call me boring! I am the Goddess of Knowledge! I will fucking cut you!"
Then I realized what it was all about. Saraswati was mad at me for calling her boring and didn't include her in my previous blog, which I talked about Kali, the raw energry, and Lakshmi, the refinement, amid the latest yoga drama.
Uh oh! The last thing I want is pissing off a goddess, or a god, or anyone with more than two arms, or anyone who has a peacock as a pet... a peacock! You know anyone who has a peacock prancing around in his/her home? And Saraswati has that guitar thing that she can whack my head with!
"Fine, I'll burn some incense and say Hail Mary 3 times."
"Oh no, asshole. You need to do the right thing. You need to go THERE and talk about Dharma of Relationship. I don't give a shit how uncomfortable this topic is for you. DO IT OR IMA FUCKING CUT YOU! ASSHOLE!"
This is major. It's one thing that I piss someone off. Damn, I do that on an hourly basis and I am loving every second of it. But it is quite another when a goddess dumps this shit on you.
And she called me an asshole.
Of course I called upon the lessons I learned in highschool on writing essays. You start with a definition of sort, citing the source... you know, the easy way out. So here it goes...
According to the internet, the Webster's dictionary and Encyclopaedia Britannica,
Dharma = social and caste duty in accord with the cosmic order
Relationship = a big messy clutter of fuck
"Dharma of Relationship" means "social and caste duty in accord with the cosmic order" of " a big messy clutter of fuck"...
hmm... that sounds about right.