Friday, 24 February 2012

Multiple personality disorder in a relationship (Part 2 of Part 2): Universal Principles of Asshole


I got a note from "anonymous": 
Your blog would of been much nicer if you didn't use those harsh language. 

I wrote back:
Thank you, "anonymous", but I don't think using the term NOT BEING NICE has the same effect as ASSHOLE. Also, could you kindly tell me what a "nice" blog is?

"anonymous" emailed me back within minutes:
Clearly you can not talk about others that way, you don't know all the details and truth, your blog is inappropriate and offensive and hurting people, you have no rights to talk trash

With gratitude and explosive shri, I wrote back:

First of all, it's "would HAVE been". Second, in that particular context, you should HAVE used "cannot" as one word. Third, "those" implies plural, which means you should HAVE said "if you didn't use those harsh languageS". Moreover, this is my blog and I am just telling stories from my own point of view. Clearly, you have no concept of sarcasm or correct grammar. I understand your pain since the truth does hurt sometimes. Have a wonderful and educational day.

"anonymous" has not written back as of today.

Fast forward...

That just showed how sophisticated and volatile the role of The Asshole is. Some asshole decided to hang his/her shit on me because he/she didn't like my blog. I reversed the roles, became a bigger yet smarter asshole and threw the shit right back at him/her. The beginning of a loving relationship? I think so.

Let's face it, we have all been The Asshole in a relationship. It's such a peculiar and sophisticated role that has so much depth. In fact, this role is not exclusive to anyone and there can be more than one in any relationship. The Asshole also tends to think that he/she has the valid reasons, or the rights to be an asshole. Often he/she will try to justify his/her actions even though he/she knows his/her actions are wrong. But then there's a good chance that he/she doesn't recognize that he/she is being an asshole. Fun!

What to do with The Asshole?

It depends. You see, sometimes it takes one asshole to recognize another. Sometimes it takes one to deal with one. Sometimes it takes one to help one.

Lucky for us, an elegant, concise set of phenomenal principles called the "Universal Principles of Asshole™" can be applied in all relationships, albeit each relationship is unique. But before you do anything, ask yourself:

- Can I recognize an asshole in a relationship?
- How many times has The Asshole been an asshole?
- How many times have I forgiven The Asshole?
- Can I discern good from bad about The Asshole and vice versa?
- Do I know why The Asshole is an asshole?
- Am I brave enough and willing to give The Asshole a kick in the ass so that he/she will "right the wrong"?
- Am I trying to salvage what's left or ditch The Asshole for good?
- Do I just want to give The Asshole a taste of his/her own medicine or simply want to hang him/her?

Once you have the answers, you can then apply the "Universal Principles of Asshole™".

What are they? Well, unfortunately they are trademarked and I cannot tell you. Ha!

Go ahead, call me an asshole.

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